Of Course You Are Surprised.

Softly, he said: "I will mangle your mind."

I’ve mentioned before that I volunteer at the Oakland Nature Preserve. And as of today, we are officially on Instagram! I’m running their account, @oaklandnaturepreserve, which you should definitely check out and follow if you’d like video of this little dude chowing down.

The oncoming storm. #dw #oaklandnaturepreserve #lakeapopka

Seems an apropos time to #tbt to #comiccon 2011, when I accosted @jamesgunn at the ATM.

I’m a little late for #wcw but HOLY HELL I just found out about this frickin amazing chick this morning. @kacycatanzaro is the teeniest tiniest little thing and is the first woman to ever qualify for the finals of American Ninja Warrior. I’ve never been particularly interested in the show, but look up her run on YouTube. If you’re not ridiculously inspired then I don’t even know how to handle you as a human being. #mightykacy

Baby cucumber growing at the #oaklandnaturepreserve! Spent the morning walking the boardwalk and taking a free wildlife photography class.








BOND is a tiny touch module. It can be a pendant or a bracelet but it comes in pairs. You keep one and you give one to a friend. When you touch it, your friend feels it. No matter where they are on the planet. We don’t do tweets, we do tickles.

we need this

gonna put it on my dick


This is actually so cool because some people wear bracelets and necklaces and things as comfort items. I used to wear a necklace from my grandma to remind me of her and I would touch the pendant on it when I was feeling down or stressed. So imagine (if she were still alive), every time I did that she would know I was thinking of her, drawing strength from her.

And then imagine poking it and the other person feels it and pokes back and you end up in a real life facebook poke war.

I would send messages in morse code

magine you and your best friend have one. When the friend dies, he/she is buried with the bracelet. A couple weeks later, you feel someone touch your wrist.

Well this escalated from cool tech to perverted hilarity to something heartfelt then finally something out a creepypasta

Tumblr: a microcosm

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imagine a vampire going “fuck it” and just taking some antihistamines before going to town on a plate of garlic bread

later on it’s wheeled into the ER with like a puffed up face and it just goes “I have been on this earth 10 thousand years but i have not lived until this day”

Like the Halloween sophomore year indira, who is allergic to chocolate, decided ‘fuck it’, and went to town. Was out all the next day, came sauntering in after school for Dracula dress rehearsal just saying ‘it was worth it’.

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people should just reply to anon hate with this


damn dude thats brutal


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if we skyping best believe im looking at myself in that lil window not u

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Favorite story posts part 1

That last one

My dad says the ‘making love in a canoe’ about american beer

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